"When Surprise Is a Good Negotiation Tactic"

By Roi Ben=Yehuda and Tania Luna

Harvard Business Review, Oct. 3, 2019

https://hbr.org/2019/10/when-surprise-is-a-good-negotiation-tactic?utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter_weekly&utm_campaign=weeklyhotlist_not_activesubs&referral=00202&deliveryName=DM51734

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This article looks at how we react when we’re surprised, and how we can use the element of surprise in negotiations.

Turns out we go through a series of states, which they call the “surprise sequence.”

First, we freeze - our brains mute whatever else is going on and force us to focus on the discrepancy.

Next, our brains try to find an explanation.

Then, we shift our perspective.

Finally, we share our perspective.

The authors argue that successful negotiators deal with surprise by staying in the surprise. Rather than shifting (jumping to a conclusion), they ask questions. Lots of questions. Then, they say, “yes if.”

“Yes if” is one of my favorite tools. As opposed to “no because,” “yes if” opens up the imagination. “No because” says why something is impossible. “Yes if” explores how it might be possible.

In addition, the authors contend, successful negotiators use the element of positive surprise proactively. They spark cooperation and creativity by breaking the parties out of their going-in positions, opening up space for new ideas and new possibilities. Things like offering a compliment, an apology, or praise; offering more options; sitting on the same side; or making yourself vulnerable.

In the end, what we accomplish depends a lot on how successfully we get aligned with others. This has some interesting ideas for making that happen.